disintegrate

rate

I am down with food poisioning. my stomach is like churning non stop. i am still down with 600 over words but have so much more to write. RAWR!!! i feel bad for not going for Rappa's tutorial for the second time! luckily i got MC! i am scared he is going to call my parents or send a warning letter! this is bad ! i hope he replies with understanding. (:

i submitted.
let this little light shine - Click

With my hair tied up, i sit down and i start writing my essay! notes lying on the bed, music blasting in the background, youtube is loading on the computer ( that will be watched when i need a break) and books flipped to its correct pages... sadly, i am only half done with the essay. i probably have around 900 words which isnt enough for me. :(

i dont even know whether i am on track. DARN IT!!! and i feel like not going for ps tutorial on thurs because i am scared. i actually prepared for it but i think i am going to look like fool knowing that i am a silly geographer who decided to take a PS module. besides, i hate being forced to say something just for the sake of getting class participation points.

oh wells, i am scared
let You be in control

i know your love dispels all my fear through the storm i will hold on Lord and by faith i will walk on Lord then i will see beyond my calvary one day and i will be complete in you

I'm irritated.

and it seems like i am back here at sqaure one with noone that cares. for the only one who is about to leave, jeanette is here alone. for those that can connect to me ,they seem too busy to care. for the ones that care - they are younger and i dont want to look like i am not setting a good example. i am supposed to be the older one, for goodness sake.

so who's left?
for once, i want to be listened and not always being a listener.

am i being too selfish?
go do essay, jeanette. go do essay, jeanette.
it is only then when you wont think.

You go before me
You shield my way
Your hand upholds me
I know You love me

And when the earth fades
Falls from my eyes
And You stand before me
I know You love me
I know You love me

For fear is something that can never surpass the greatness of God

bad and busy week ahead.
with too many things on my mind and so little time, i hate putting myself at this position all over again. i need to be more discipline and i need to rely more on Him and less on myself.

Fear You.

Point Form.

1) Jeanette's legs are aching badly.
2) Jeanette lost money today.
3) Jeanette has piles of work
that are yet to be completed.
4) Jeanette does not know if
she wants to S/U computing module.
5) Jeanette is feeling emo.
(She needs to get out of it soon!)

;

You are greater than all these things

And when the night falls in
around me And I don't think
I'll make it through I'll use
your light to guide the way

3 in a circle
our hearts unite for Your guidiance
God, you are in control of everything
as much as we cant see it sometimes

the power of praying
the power of friendship

in our lives, Your will be done.

;

the river runs and the river hides
out to the ocean and under the sky
i promise you the answer will come
hold on to patience and watch for the sign everything in its time

back home right now. Today's weather was stupid. It was super hot in the afternoon and now it is raining like crazy! went down to chinese garden to do our tourism project. that place was pretty surprising in my opinion. i didnt know that i had to pay to see the whole place.

it was actually quite nice, with ponds & lakes, statues, pagodas and tradtitional chinese houses all around. the place seems dead , lacking with a soul but yet peace reigns in that little enclosed area. they should seriously create more shelter places with nice fans and aircons.

well it was a pretty nice experience. on the way out, we saw this guy who was completely naked and hiding near the bush. he whistled at us for attention and yucks, he flashed at us. THAT COW! we called the police in return and i hope they catch him and put him in jail. (: There are seriously some weird people in Singapore.

off for cg gathering at uncle luke's house later. for now, going to watch some Tv.

a song dedicated to you
if only i have the courage to do so

;

I'm weak, it's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
Do you see me too?

I've waited all my l
ife to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
It's time to try
anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true

I know when I go
I'll be on my way to you
The way that's true

Something that i can call my own. :DDD

the first vector layout done by me.i took a picture of a lighthouse and transformed it.Brushes are mostly from CS2 default shapes and everything was coloured and painted by me. i took freaking long to figure out how to do it. well, i am glad that the finished product looks good. I know it isnt perfect but there will always be more room for improving. (:

off to study and read some PS notes
i havent even started doing my essay
i have been too lazy to do anything. :(

;

light of the world
you stepped down into darkness
open my eyes let me see
beauty that makes this
heart adore you hope
of a life spend with you

Day 2

Lunch Dim Sum at Jumbo Restaurant. Cg came over after that to my house. Hung out and ate great food. Talked quite a lot and did tremendous suaning in front of our parents. it was hiliarous. (: 'Shark fin soup', 'Aladdin and the magic matt' etc etc. Gosh, we are funny people. Oops. :D

Off to play cards at cousin's house which lasted till 1 am. was super tired after that. slept till 11 am this morning.

Day 3

Visted another cousin's house in the afternoon. Mum got super angry because i had to leave to meet the church people for movie. it is rather complicated because i always feel that i will try to please her while she thinks that i should try to listen to her more.

oh wells, went to watch norbit and it was hilarious. SO everyone needs to go watch too. :D Hanging out with church people is always fun. :D

;

talking to you now always makes me smile.

I need to learn to surrender it to you
No more expectations from you but i want
Your name to shine in every aspect of my life

first day of CNY is over. Jeanette is rich because jeanette has won alot of money just from playing cards. shhhh, we (family) wait 365 days just to be able to play cards on CNY. Haha, i am going to make full use of these 15 days. :DDDDDD

Cg over later. After that, off to cousin's house for another round. i am actually really tired and i am going to lose my voice soon. Have been shouting too much. :(

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! :D

long days of visitation starts tml. i need to rest and wake up early tml. New clothes are LOVE! :D mid term break starts this week too so i better start on my essays after CNY. oh ya, new layout too and i love it sooo much. (:

papercranes flying over
uncharted walls and windows

;

Feel this heart with your peace
i want to trust in your ways even
when it gets harder each day

to have the one and only one
this is a journey that You will take me

Darn it, i got forced to move to new blogger. Argh, i hate the new blogger. Somehow, it seems to screw up the templates and html quotes quite a bit and i have no idea how to do future skins like that. HAHA. pls tell me if there are things on the blog which you cant get access to or cant see. If not, i am going to officially have one blog at LJ only. :D

Happy Valentine's Day to All.

;

and i cant seem to sleep
when i know that i have so much to say
but yet i dont know how to start

if only time stops here.

Flowers by the window.
new layout and it is submitted
- CLICK

i cant help feeling guilty at the end of each day
i hate it when i start controlling my own life
i hate it when i let temptations and laziness get the hold of me
i feel less worthy all the time.

i need to snap out of it and learn to see what i've missed
i need to learn to see the good in the bad.
i really need to, i am trying.

Guide my ways and Guide my thoughts.

so it was a pretty good day yesterday! had one lesson in school, went back to fetch estelle, headed down to simei to meet the rest and then went over to sue's house. Sue and i cycled all the way down to east coast park to eat subway and cycled all the way back for cell group. HAHA, it was pretty fun!

cg was good, i guess rachelle and i felt the same way. it has always come down to learning so much and realising what there is to do, where i have gone wrong and where do i go from there. it was a big wake up call for me yesterday and i felt that amount of remorse even as i was looking back on the things i prayed in the week and how God was touching me while singing ' thank you for the cross'.

saw a total no of 4 car accidents yesterday while driving all along Singapore. it is crazy ! after fetching marianne back, i took the ECP route along with estelle and jeff in the car and we saw this damn bad accident. the two cars were wrecked beyond recognition and one of the injured guy was stuck in his smashed up car. car body parts were everywhere. WOAH!

life can be so fragile. it makes me think alot; about the death of that certain taiwan actress and how God can just take you away so quickly. it is kind of hard to accept not because i am afraid of death but because i realised the magnitude of the impact of it will leave on the loved ones.

;

enough of that. talked to estelle and glenn till 3 am last night. glenn refused to let me sleep and i was at the whining stage of begging him to let me sleep. i was super tired ! off to go meet lynn to study and meet the rest to go to rach's 21st birthday. :D

photo shots taken on sunday! went shopping with the horrible lady who hardly finds time for me at all. She thinks it is okay that we dont meet at all. i missed lynn that day. it is high time we get together as TFF soon. (:

more pictures over at my LJ.
it would be friends locked.
the pictures are hilarious, gosh our faces were thrown down the drain but dear ms peetard wont be able to see because she got no LJ! HAHA! :D

blogskins/blogger/html codes day.

spend one whole day on the computer trying to complete my computing tutorial, my bro and sis in law's website and new layouts for BS. everything is completely and i feel so happy! Suffering from a big headache though because this new skin that you are seeing now gave me so many problems.

and it actually boiled down to one FIXED over REPEAT-Y!
thanks to kat for being there. :D
i gave up halfway while doing it, went to wash the car and suddenly thought of which parts of the html codes were wrong. i was right! GOSH!!!!

;

going to take a long bath, watch some TV and start reading my PS notes. i cant believe that i have today, tml and thurs free this week! wooohooo! (:

i dont like being alone
in between breaks.

20 mins to the PS lecture
i am scared.

;

Be of good courage, jeanette

the weekends were great. i did study quite abit and played a hell lot so i am feeling really great right now. well, i'm getting drained out by everything and tomorrow is one big long day. i am scared of going for Rappa's lesson. i dont know why but i really need to do well for that PS module even though i've no clue on how to study for it.

i need God's wisdom and strength.

played pool and watched miss porter. i had so much fun playing pool with the church friends and miss porter was such a lovely show. Gosh, i missed writing lit essays in a way; i had so much to express and i felt so much for that movie.

You shield my ways
in every season, i know you love me
- rediscovering eden

;

i know there is no problem too big
that is impossible for you to solve
let You increase and I decrease
let me learn to fear and love you

Grant me peace.

WG made me laugh today.
Kat always makes me laugh.
PNG PNG PNG!

the most random post ever!

i have so much readings to do that it is actually killing me! i am never going to finsh them at all. gosh, i need to take a good sleep now. the weekends are here. Cant wait. (: